Irada’s quest for truth and meaning continued, both on her own and in the company of others.
“In Kazakh culture,” Irada explains, “my educational, social, and political influences were all atheistic. But with the fall of the Soviet Union, religion became tolerated, and to some extent even encouraged, though often with a ‘This can make you a stronger citizen’ component. As we began to hear about the Ten Commandments and the Golden Rule, we also heard, ‘Honoring parents, treating others well, not stealing, not killing—all these things are good for the state. They strengthen the nation—and the individual.’”
While huge cultural, political, and social changes were swirling around Irada as a young schoolgirl, a confession her mother made to her one day was especially memorable in her own spiritual development. “When I gave birth to you and first looked into your eyes,” her mother shared, “I sensed the Divine. Right then I prayed for the first time. ‘Save this child,’ I pleaded with God. I was filled with gratitude for this new life entrusted to me. Having just given birth for the first time, I sensed a presence much larger than myself, my daughter, or any human.”
Like her mother, Irada too began to sense, “There must be something or Someone more.” As she grew older, changes in her homeland and especially in her immediate community caught her attention. She remembers her initial surprise at seeing imams, priests, and others freely walking around in religious garb. She was curious about the significance of such distinctive attire. She noticed too the appearance of religious discussions in newspapers. She read columns proposing new points of view and opportunities. One offer caught her eye. It was geared to children her age: Bible study lessons. She wrote away for the lessons, completed them, and shared what she was learning with her mother. “We found these Bible stories so interesting and exciting,” Irada recalls. “It was all so new. We had never heard anything like this before.”
Irada’s curiosity grew, and she began to explore the Muslim faith of her grandmother as well as denominations within Christianity, including the orthodox tradition. As she visited houses of worship and explored various sacred texts, she found places and passages that appealed to her, but others that she could not accept. What started as a search for answers seemed to be generating more questions.
Irada’s search continued into adulthood. By the time she immigrated to the United States seven years ago, Irada had decided that too much of what she had encountered in her study of various faith traditions was incompatible with her own beliefs grounded in her medical training, her sense of equality and justice, and her understanding of the Bible. “I couldn’t support the meting out of harsh punishments for certain beliefs or actions,” she explains. “I also questioned the value and meaning of icons, saints, and some rituals. I was uncomfortable with what appeared to be worship of individuals rather than worship of God alone. Also, I couldn’t accept the hierarchy inherent in some faiths. Growing up in the former Soviet Union, the equality of women was a given. For generations, we have been welcomed into all professions. We have been expected to do whatever needs to be done—from raising a family, to farming, providing food, working on machinery, pursuing higher education, entering any vocation of our choosing. No one ever said to us, ‘You can’t do this because you are a woman.’”
Irada’s quest for truth and meaning continued, both on her own and in the company of others. One day, at the height of the pandemic, a Christian colleague named Dan invited her to attend some informal online discussions he was leading. These discussions, he explained, were open to all. He stressed that there would be no judgment, no pressure, but together they would explore questions and share beliefs about such topics as the existence of God, creation, suffering, injustice, and more. Irada listened with interest to ideas shared by people from a wide range of faith traditions and from atheists, too. Before the close of each session, Dan opened his Bible and presented what it said about the topic.
Irada’s eventual introduction to Seventh-day Adventism came through a fellow Kazakhstani that she met at a get-together at another friend’s cabin. Here Irada and her new friend, Assel Burnett, conversed and bonded over their shared backgrounds and interests in faith and religion. Eventually, these and subsequent conversations led to Bible studies with Pastor Myoung Kwon. Irada decided to join this denomination and was baptized by Pastor Rowell Puedivan. Today she worships at the Evansville and Madison churches in Wisconsin.
When asked what appeals to her about Seventh-day Adventism, Irada explains that the emphasis on healthful living is important to her. After decades as a smoker, she was finally able to quit, and she remains grateful for the encouragement and support that led to this change. Sabbath, she explains, was a new concept for her. Initially, she thought that it was important to Jewish people only. She was surprised to find the Sabbath included in the Ten Commandments. She now treasures its rest and fellowship. She enjoyed learning about Ellen White and the church’s beginnings. “I was pleased to discover,” Irada says, “that here was a denomination who had a strong woman as one of its founders, and yet this leader neither sought nor accepted worship directed towards herself.”
What was most instrumental in her decision to cast her lot with Adventism, however, was the welcoming acceptance and friendship she found within the church community. Bible-based doctrines were important to her. The concept of a triune God--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—was in keeping with what she found in scripture. “But the loving acceptance of the church community and the beautiful life of my friend Assel,” she says, “spoke to me most powerfully, and still does today.”
Irada continues to celebrate the positive changes that Christianity and Seventh-day Adventism have made for her. She isn’t alone, though, in marking the differences. Her husband and son tell her that she is a calmer, happier, and more confident person since becoming a Christian.
When asked which passage of Scripture has special meaning to her, Irada quotes Romans 14.4: “Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand” (NIV). How fitting that someone who was filled with questions for so many years finds herself drawn to a passage of scripture that poses a question. The reminder that we are not appointed to judge others is central to Irada’s understanding and appreciation of her new faith. Especially reassuring is the promise of strength and endurance that comes from the Lord.
As Irada daily learns more about her Savior, she remains ever grateful for the support of her church family and her Christian friends. “Dan once said to me,” Irada recalls, ‘I always knew you were closer to Jesus than you thought.’”
“Even though I still have much to learn about my Bible, my new church, and my new faith,” Irada concedes, “I can see that Dan was right. I was closer to Jesus all along, indeed much closer than I thought.”
Beverly Matiko is a professor emerita of English and communication who lives in Niles, Michigan. Though retired, she continues to enjoy telling her own stories and the stories of others from the podium and in print.
