Anxiety and fear have long weighed me down. I feared the future. I feared trusting others. Most of all, I feared not being enough and falling short of my own and others’ expectations.
I raised my hand, and a church spotlight found and illuminated me. As the pastor prayed for me, I felt touched by the Holy Spirit. Before leaving, I was given a copy of Rick Warren’s “The Purpose Driven Life.” I knew I wanted to get closer to God and find a new sense of direction and purpose. I also knew I faced obstacles.
Anxiety and fear have long weighed me down. I feared the future. I feared trusting others. Most of all, I feared not being enough and falling short of my own and others’ expectations. While in treatment for these fears and anxieties, I met JJ, a health care worker. We both enjoyed sports and joking around. We also shared a similar history with challenges and insecurities. As I watched JJ at work helping others, I began to glimpse the possibility of healing and wholeness. “If JJ can live a useful, productive life, maybe there’s hope for me too,” I thought.
Later, while working at my current job at Kroger, I met Mariana, a fellow cashier. We chatted and discovered that we both enjoyed contemporary Christian music. She invited me to a Bible Study and Care Group that met weekly in her apartment. “Why not?” I thought. “It can’t hurt to step in and test the waters.”
In that first meeting in Mariana’s apartment, I was introduced to about seven college-age young people. The topic for that evening was the afterlife. I immediately felt welcomed, accepted and at ease. Everyone was so kind, open and non-judgmental. I learned that this group attended the Bloomington Seventh-day Adventist Church. I continued attending these weekly meetings and began It Is Written Bible studies with Pastor Sam Ngala. I loved all 25 lessons and powered through them in just six weeks! I was especially motivated because I had decided I wanted to be baptized along with my friend Jeno, and the date for his baptism had already been set.
Following my baptism, I continued attending the small group meetings. Our group is especially interested in reaching out to other young people. We have outgrown Mariana’s apartment and now meet in the home of Pastor Nicholas Agyekum. Daily Bible study and prayer, support from this group, regular church attendance, listening to Christian music on the radio, and attending Christian concerts all sustain me and help me to grow spiritually. I find reassurance, comfort and daily spiritual nourishment in Scripture. Isaiah 41:10 especially speaks to me:
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (NKJV, italics added)
Knowing I am in the Almighty’s hand diminishes my fears and renews my hope and strength.
Kevin Penley graduated in 2020 from Ivy Tech Community College with an associate degree in general studies. In addition to playing sports and following college and professional baseball, basketball and football, Kevin enjoys hanging out with friends, reading and working out in the gym.
